I’M A KID I’M A BIG KID. I’M A BIG KID AND GETTING BIGGER. I’M CLIFFORD THE BIG RED KID. I’M ELEVEN FEET OF CHILDHOOD ALL SMOOSHED INTO SIX FOOT OF BODY. WHEN YOU TELL ME AN ADULT THEMED JOKE I GIVE IT AN ADULT SMILE. I’VE GOT A KID’S SMILE UNDER THE ADULT SMILE AND IT IS SMILING BECAUSE YOU JUST TALKED ABOUT SEX. THE KID ISN’T SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX BUT HE DOES AND HE FINDS IT KIND OF FUNNY. YUP.

THE KID MAKES ME BUY MY OWN PAIRS OF SHOES TWO TIMES OVERSIZE. THE KID ISN’T READY TO HAVE ADULT FEET OF HIS OWN. TWO TIMES OVERSIZE FEELS LIKE WALKING AROUND IN DAD’S SHOES WHILE HE’S AT WORK. THE KID THINKS ABOUT HIDING EMERGENCY LEGO IN THE EMPTY BITS OF BIG SHOES. IN CASE THE KID NEEDS TO BUILD A BRIDGE OVER SOMETHING TOO BIG TO JUMP.

THE KID CAN LIVE OFF CARTOONS AND COLA. I CAN’T. BUT THE KID DON’T CARE ABOUT DEATH. PLUS I WAS BORN BEFORE THE KID SO I’M GOING TO DIE FIRST ANYWAY. THE KID MAKES ME FORGET ABOUT BRAIN TUMOURS OR GETTING HIT BY A BUS. THE KID MAKES IT CLEAR THAT EVERYONE LIVES FOR ONE HUNDRED YEARS EXACTLY.

SOME DAYS I DON’T SEE THE KID.