This is it.
You wake up and you know.
There’s nothing to give it away. No ominous black dog howling outside your bedroom window. The clocks haven’t stopped. It is 10:34 in the morning on a seemingly normal Saturday. In a minute it will be 10:35 on a seemingly normal Saturday. You turn on the TV, kind of hoping that there will be any news that proves that this is not a seemingly normal Saturday. Hoping to prove your gut feeling right. The screen in front of you flickers from static black to static white. The white holds. In your head it stretches out, the white oozing from the screen. It slimes onto your bare toes and upward. When the white enters your eyes it flickers to a blue background and a needlessly stern looking man sitting at a desk in the foreground. The man stares at you and brings you back to reality. This is you sitting in front of the news. The man tells you about a murder last night, a politician somewhwere resigns, someone won an award, sports teams won, sports teams lost, the weather today will be sunny enough. This is the news everyday. There is no statistical evidence to suggest that today is different to any other. There is merely the anecdotal evidence of a unease in your gut and a minute crackling of energy over your skin.
You look from the television screen to your reflected self in a full length mirror. You keep your eyes on the mirror and watch yourself turn off the television. You gaze deeply into your own eyes as you strip from your pyjamas. Standing naked for a moment you wonder if you are seducing or analysing yourself. Not consciously selecting the items of clothing, you find yourself with an outfit for the day. Still filthy – covered in the dirt of sleep – you forgo showering and dress yourself. Watch as you pull the denim over your feet, around your ankles, over your knees and around your hips. Feel the shirt loosely wrap your arms and tighten over your body as your hands fasten the shirt’s buttons around your chest. Dressed, you switch your view to your bare feet and watch them, step-by-step, as they carry you out the door.